3.27.2009

The Worst Church Song Ever

A very long time ago, I started a series called Best and Worst, in which I examine the best or worst of all time in a given category.


Except, technically it isn’t a “series” until now, because I forgot all about it until I became acquainted with The Worst Church Song Ever a couple of weeks ago.

For those of you who have spent a significant portion of your life singing church songs, if you’re like me, you probably have your share of favorites (Abide With Me, Come Thou Fount Of Every Blessing, Let The Lower Lights Be Burning), as well as your share of songs that you would rather never sing again (Follow Me, Ivory Palaces).

This post isn’t about any of those songs though. It’s about We’re A Rainbow, a song that I discovered in our homemade youth song book a couple of weeks ago.

Unfortunately, there’s no music to the words, and since I don’t know anyone who knows the song, I have no idea how to sing it, but you can read the lyrics for yourself:
“We’re a rainbow made of Christians,
We’re an army for the Lord.
We’ve no weapons that can harm you,
Christian love is much too strong.”
I don’t really even know where to begin, but I’ll try.

First of all, the song is really, really short. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but if you’re going to only have four lines, they need to be very good lines, and these aren’t.

Secondly, there’s no real attempt made at following any discernable rhyme scheme. I guess that’s small potatoes compared to the rest of the song’s problems, but it just helps to make the words of the song seem even more randomly chosen.

Third, a good song should convey a clear message. The message of We’re A Rainbow seems to be that Christians are a loving rainbow army, and I’m not really even sure what that means. Maybe I’d have a better sense of the message if the song itself was longer than 25 words.

Fourth, the different lines of the songs are all…wait, let’s just stop right there. I’m sorry, but I just can’t continue to pretend to seriously analyze a song that starts off with “We’re a rainbow made of Christians…”

My humble nomination for the title of The Worst Church Song Ever.

UPDATE: I recently received an email informing me that I only had the chorus to this song, and that the full lyrics are as below:
“We’re a rainbow made of Christians,
We’re an army for the Lord.
We’ve no weapons that can harm you,
Christian love is much too strong.”

So we sing in Unity,
‘Live and Love Eternally,’
so become a Child of God,
and enjoy a life of peace.

When you’re feeling sad and lonely,
and you cross is hard to bear,
come to Jesus, he will teach you,
to obtain sweet peace through prayer.”
While I still think the chorus is somewhat hard to stomach, the verses are certainly a big improvement.

My apologies for the inadvertent mistake.


8 comments:

Odgie 3/27/09, 11:50 PM  

Oh man, this post hit my buttons. Its hard to pick from both categories, but I can easily identify two types of songs that drive me nuts: "Jesus is My Boyfriend" ballads and "Jesus Be Thou My Therapist" type pleas. Theres one song with lyrics that go:
"Oh cleanser of the mess I’ve made
your boundless love for me portrayed with patience for my learning curve”

"Cleanser?" "Learning curve?" This is the best we can come up with to praise the creator of the universe?

MrsDockery 3/29/09, 3:42 PM  

I get a vision of hippies holding hands in a circle singing that song

Luke 3/30/09, 12:28 PM  

Odgie,

Yeah, I dislike songs from the categories you mentioned as well.

“Cleanser?” It makes Jesus sound like one of those colon detox systems.

Luke 3/30/09, 12:29 PM  

MrsD,

Me too. that probably goes a long way toward explaining why I don't like it.

kristisweeney 3/30/09, 8:19 PM  

I actually know that song Luke. We used to sing it at my elementary school. I don't care for it either.

Luke 3/31/09, 8:42 AM  

Kristi,

Oh wow, it really is a real song then!

You should record yourself singing it and send it to me—I could make fun of it much better if I knew the tune.

Carolyn Stewart 1/2/15, 7:48 PM  

I actually liked the chorus, it was simple and easy to sing at a campfire. When I first became a Christian, it was easy to sing along to and practice harmonies. All songs can't please everyone, but maybe a few will please some...Peace

Luke Dockery 1/3/15, 9:25 PM  

Hey Carolyn,

I wrote this post several years ago now. I think it was a weak attempt at humor then, mingled with the observation that some of our songs are theologically lacking.

But the point you make is a very important one: not all songs will please everyone, but just because this song is not appreciated by me doesn't mean that it isn't helpful to someone else! I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

Blessings and peace to you as well!

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