365 Days and Counting…

By my calculations, it was on June 29, 2006 that my little corner of cyberspace opened up for business.

Back then, my blog had a different name, but for all intents and purposes, The Doc File turned one today.

During the past year, my readership has grown at an infinite rate (this is not actually that big of a deal when you start off with 0 readers; it’s more of a statistical certainty really) and I have gone from posting only about once a month to posting 2-3 times per week. Hopefully, that number will continue to increase as I continue to grow more and more enamored with my own blog.

For those interested in sending birthday presents, I’ll make sure to include my address…

If One Picture is Worth 1,000 Words...

If this guy told you he didn’t take steroids, why on earth wouldn’t you believe him?

Why Do I Put Myself Through This?

So one of the interesting things about being at camp (by the way, I had a very good, if very tiring week) is that while I’m there, I’m pretty much out of touch with civilization.

Since camp is in late June, that means that I basically go for an entire week without hearing an Atlanta Braves update, which always makes me extremely nervous.

I got to see a newspaper early in the week and discovered that Atlanta beat up on the BoSox 9-4, but hadn’t heard anything since. Then I got home yesterday, and apparently, over the last five days, everything has fallen apart. Consider the following:

• The Braves have lost five games in a row.
• Over that five game span, they’ve been outscored 27-1; that’s right, they’ve scored 1 run in five games.
• We’ve now fallen to third place in the NL East, behind the Mets and the Phillies.
• Andruw Jones’ batting average has fallen below .200, and his on-base percentage is below .300 (this explains his facial expression in the picture above: Andruw is somewhat bemused because while he can remember a time when Major League pitches weren’t so absolutely baffling to him, he certainly has no clue how to handle them now).
• Bobby Cox got thrown out of another game to tie the all-time record for most ejections.
  
• John Smoltz and Chipper Jones, Atlanta’s longest tenured veterans and the collective bedrock of the team, are both somewhat injured and are apparently feuding with each other.

Things are bad. Atlanta is still only 4.5 games out of first place, but if they don’t make some adjustments soon, I’m afraid they’ll find themselves in serious trouble.

Still, it could be worse—we could still be trotting Mark Redmond out to the mound every five days.

Away from the World

I won’t be blogging for the next few days, as I will be working as a counselor for a week at Green Valley Bible Camp.

I’ve gone to Green Valley every summer since I was 10, first as a camper and then as a counselor, and it’s always one of my favorite weeks of the year.

It’s amazing how trivial and unnecessary my computer and the internet and technology in general will seem while I’m there, and equally amazing how soon I’ll become dependent on them again once I return.

Have a blessed week.

Lonesome no Longer?

Lonesome George is a Galápagos tortoise, a member of Geochelone nigra abingdonii, one of eleven subspecies of giant tortoises native to the Galápagos Islands.

George, quite possibly the world’s most famous non-human bachelor, is considered to be “lonesome” because since his discovery on Pinta Island in 1971, no other member of his subspecies has ever been found.

I’ve always been a fan of anything turtle-related, and ever since I first learned about George in 4th or 5th grade, I’ve been somewhat concerned about him and his loneliness.

Well, according to this article, there is reason for hope: on neighboring Isabella Island, another tortoise (creatively named “PBR03” by researchers) has been found that shares half of George’s genetic code.

This is an encouraging find although the tortoise is male (and therefore doesn’t solve the problem of George’s loneliness), because with hundreds of other tortoises roaming around on Isabella Island, the chances of finding a full-blooded George-type female (that could’ve provided PBR03 with his share of Georgeish DNA) are encouraging.

It may take a while for researchers to track down and study all the tortoises on Isabella island, but don’t worry, George has time: scientists estimate that he is about 75 years old, which should give him another 50-120 years of life.


Aside from the article linked above, Wikipedia provided some of the details for this post, especially George’s scientific name, which I certainly couldn’t have spelled on my own.

Bumpers Stickers: Proclaiming your Ignorance for the World to See

Occasionally, you may come across a particularly clever or humorous bumper sticker, and decided to affix it to your car, but there’s really no excuse for having more than a couple of them on your car at once.

At least around here, you always know you’re behind someone who is completely nuts when the entire backside of their car is completely covered with bumper stickers.


Of course, this phenomenon exists on both ends of the political and cultural spectra.

On one side, you have the tie-dyed, hippie types, who are in love with peace, freedom, and, ironically, Che Guevara. Then at the opposite extreme (and usually on the back of a pickup) you have the gun-toting, redneck types who decorate everything with antlers and most likely sleep in Confederate Battle Flag bedsheets.

Both of these extremes are stupid and drive me nuts, and are characteristic of people who need to be avoided, but it was one of the former group that I found myself driving behind the other day.

I didn’t have time to read all of the bushy-bearded driver’s adhesived inanities, but a couple which were right next to each other caught my eye:

The first said “BUSH, THE ONLY DOPE WORTH SHOOTING” and had a picture of a syringe on it, while the second whined, “WHATEVER HAPPENED TO MY CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS?”

The irony of these two particular messages being side by side was just a little more than I could take.

I certainly don’t hate President Bush, but I realize that some people do. I understand that they are unhappy with many of his policies, and think he is a terrible president. But that doesn’t mean you have to be stupid about it.

Disregarding the questionable ethics of the assassination of the president and the tacit approval that the first bumper sticker gives to such an act, here’s my point:

If the US was really the fascist, freedom-deprived country that liberal extremists and the second bumper sticker claim it to be, don’t you think that publicly joking about killing the president would warrant a significant punishment?

The truth is that as Americans, we are so spoiled by our long history of freedom and prosperity that we wouldn’t recognize true fascism if it rounded us up, tattooed serial numbers on our arms and herded us into camps.

From what I saw the other day, I don’t agree with some of the political views of the man I was driving behind, and find his rhetoric to be excessive and irresponsible. But because he lives in a country like America (where he is apparently deprived of his constitutional rights), he has a right to his foolish opinions.

One more thing: I noticed this car as I drove behind it on my way to church Sunday morning. On my way to exercise another one of those rights that I wouldn’t have if things were as bad as the Nancy Pelosis of this world would have us believe.

Are You SURE You’re Not Injured?

As the regular readers of The Doc File know, I was in a car accident which was not my fault a little over a month ago.

Starting a week or so after the accident, a steady flow of letters started trickling in. They usually began like this:

“Dear Robert (my first name):

This is a letter of solicitation. If you have already retained an attorney for your personal injury claim, please disregard this letter. Our investigations of police records indicate that you may have been injured in an accident…”

They would then go on to encourage me to call them, and then would try to persuade me why I should entrust my case to them—usually because they were cheap, or experienced in personal injury cases.

One of the lawyers was actually a former paramedic and even confided in me that he too had been in a car crash before he became a lawyer (as if this were a rare shared experience that would build trust with me)!

Unfortunately, none of these upstanding, respectable ambulance-chasers got any business from me, mainly because I didn’t suffer any injuries.

The fact that they were generally clueless about what my last name was didn’t help them either.

If You’re Going To Get Ejected…

With 130, Atlanta Braves manager Bobby Cox is second on the all-time list for most ejections.

He needs only two more to pass John McGraw, the infamously combustible hater of umpires who managed the New York Giants in the early part of the 20th century, for first place.

Interestingly enough, Cox is generally pretty even-keeled, and even when he gets ejected, doesn’t blow up like some other guys like Earl Weaver or Lou Piniella.

But the Braves’ players like it. It’s a sign that their manager has their back, and will stick up for them. Chipper Jones actually surmised that Cox intentionally gets thrown out 30-40% of the time.

I say all this as introduction to AA Greenville (MI) Braves manager Phillip Wellman’s ejection from Friday night. Maybe he’s trying to follow Cox’s example or is trying to show his parent club that he’s not afraid to get ejected either.

Either way, the video of Wellman is a must-see even for non-baseball fans (cough, Angela, cough) and one of the most ridiculous and humorous things I’ve ever seen.

I think the high point is when he crawls to the mound and throws the rosin bag at the home plate umpire like a grenade. 10 out of 10 for originality.

• • •

In other news, I survived the 5K today. The course was really hilly and I was pretty tired, but I actually did slightly better than I thought I would.

I’m not telling you my time though; those records are sealed.

There Can Be No Doubt…

It had been a while since we had heard anything from the Loch Ness Monster (except for that funny Toyota commercial, but that was generally considered to be a joke), but apparently, “Nessie” is alive and well.

I was particularly pleased to hear this. Out of all the myths and wild stories out there—Bigfoot, the Abominable Snowman, 2Pac being alive and well, Barry Bonds being steroid-free—the Loch Ness Monster has always been my favorite and the one I chose to believe in.

You can see the video and a local television station’s coverage of the story on YouTube.

Really, the video is a little disappointing; it’s only about ten seconds long and the monster could easily be a big log caught in a current.

But at least you can hear some cool Scottish accents.