Bumpers Stickers: Proclaiming your Ignorance for the World to See

Occasionally, you may come across a particularly clever or humorous bumper sticker, and decided to affix it to your car, but there’s really no excuse for having more than a couple of them on your car at once.

At least around here, you always know you’re behind someone who is completely nuts when the entire backside of their car is completely covered with bumper stickers.


Of course, this phenomenon exists on both ends of the political and cultural spectra.

On one side, you have the tie-dyed, hippie types, who are in love with peace, freedom, and, ironically, Che Guevara. Then at the opposite extreme (and usually on the back of a pickup) you have the gun-toting, redneck types who decorate everything with antlers and most likely sleep in Confederate Battle Flag bedsheets.

Both of these extremes are stupid and drive me nuts, and are characteristic of people who need to be avoided, but it was one of the former group that I found myself driving behind the other day.

I didn’t have time to read all of the bushy-bearded driver’s adhesived inanities, but a couple which were right next to each other caught my eye:

The first said “BUSH, THE ONLY DOPE WORTH SHOOTING” and had a picture of a syringe on it, while the second whined, “WHATEVER HAPPENED TO MY CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS?”

The irony of these two particular messages being side by side was just a little more than I could take.

I certainly don’t hate President Bush, but I realize that some people do. I understand that they are unhappy with many of his policies, and think he is a terrible president. But that doesn’t mean you have to be stupid about it.

Disregarding the questionable ethics of the assassination of the president and the tacit approval that the first bumper sticker gives to such an act, here’s my point:

If the US was really the fascist, freedom-deprived country that liberal extremists and the second bumper sticker claim it to be, don’t you think that publicly joking about killing the president would warrant a significant punishment?

The truth is that as Americans, we are so spoiled by our long history of freedom and prosperity that we wouldn’t recognize true fascism if it rounded us up, tattooed serial numbers on our arms and herded us into camps.

From what I saw the other day, I don’t agree with some of the political views of the man I was driving behind, and find his rhetoric to be excessive and irresponsible. But because he lives in a country like America (where he is apparently deprived of his constitutional rights), he has a right to his foolish opinions.

One more thing: I noticed this car as I drove behind it on my way to church Sunday morning. On my way to exercise another one of those rights that I wouldn’t have if things were as bad as the Nancy Pelosis of this world would have us believe.