Whom To Vote For?

So, I don’t know if you’ve heard or not, but there’s a pretty big election coming up in the next month or so.

I’ve talked before about how I’m not a Barack Obama fan. I disagree strongly with his views on abortion, which is a deal-breaker for me, but I have other problems with him as well.

Unfortunately, as a person, I think he’s probably a better guy than John McCain. I come closer to agreeing with McCain on a lot of issues, and, as I’ve written before, in some ways, McCain is a very admirable guy.

But on the whole, he seems to be a big jerk. He’s infamous for his terrible temper, he slept around all over the place on his first wife, and it’s really hard for me to respect a guy who would say things like this to his current wife (and in public!).

So it looks like I’m in need of a different candidate*, and it’s for that purpose that I’m writing this blog post—to accept nominations for a write-in candidate.

The first nomination I received a while back from my brother, and it’s a pretty good one: Optimus Prime.

I think Optimus has a lot of characteristics that would make him an ideal President. Consider:

  • He would bring an entire new meaning to “Commander-in-Chief.” I’m not even sure we’d need an army anymore.
  • International Negotiations: This goes along with the first point I guess, but seriously, can you imagine Ahmadinejad or Hugo Chavez doing anything other than treating Prime with the utmost respect?
  • Over and over he has staunchly supported and affirmed the value of all human life.
  • He’s the wisest and most noble of all Autobots.
But on the flip side:
  • As someone who transforms into an 18-wheeler, Optimus is an inherent and fundamental part of our oil crisis in a way that no other candidate could be.
  • And the big one: he’s not a native born citizen of the United States. Not at all.
So I guess the nominations are still open…

*I actually hope that McCain wins the election, but I’m just not sure that I could bring myself to vote for him. I’m pretty sure that in my state, it won’t matter though, which is why I’m taking such a light-hearted approach to this.


Anonymous 10/3/08, 3:54 PM  

"President Prime" does have a great ring to it. That U.S. citizen thing is a real bummer, because my nomination would be Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Having had extensive experience in both political negotiation and military, where he rose to the rank of General, "Ben" Kenobi would be an ideal candidate. I don't think he'd accept the nomination, but that's what makes him the perfect choice.

MrsDockery 10/3/08, 7:03 PM  

I vote for Dr. Burks because we can all already do good impersonations.

Anonymous 10/3/08, 9:57 PM  

I was always a fan of David Palmer. I don't know if he actually had any stances on issues or dumb stuff like that, but he was a stand-up guy. Plus, I really feel like I can trust him in those All-State commercials.

Luke Dockery 10/4/08, 9:14 AM  


I think you're right—Kenobi has a lot of good qualities. I think he’d need to go by “Ben” though— “Obi-Wan” sounds weird and would probably cost him some votes.

Luke Dockery 10/4/08, 9:17 AM  

Mrs. D,

That really is a solid point. Besides I think “C-A-M-A-R-A-D-E-R-I-E” would make a great State of the Union address.

Luke Dockery 10/4/08, 9:20 AM  


I don’t watch 24, but I’ve heard good things about Palmer.

Plus, I think it would be good for us to have a black president, and I agree, he does seem very trustworthy on All-State commercials.

Didn’t he get assassinated though?

Anonymous 10/6/08, 12:21 AM  

I'm gonna have to suggest Splinter. YES, he is a rat. But what does that mean? He talks, and knows karate. And what a mentor/father figure. I can see the US public really looking to him for guidance.

Anonymous 10/6/08, 8:15 AM  

Allen, image is everything. Neither Splinter nor Chuck E. Cheese have a chance of even inhabiting the Oval Office.

Luke Dockery 10/7/08, 9:19 AM  


Splinter does have a lot of good qualities, but I have to agree with Alex—I mean, he’d already have practically every woman against him because he's a rat, so he'd pretty much have to sweep the male vote to have a chance.

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