Trauma

According to Wikipedia, the speed of the release of particles from the mouth during sneezing is a source of much speculation, but some estimates place it as high as 650 mph.

I can believe it. I have long suspected that sneezing is by far the most traumatic experience of everyday life, and that if sneezes lasted longer than the blink of eye, the strain would probably be too much for the body to take.

This line of thinking was reinforced last night, when I made the mistake of sneezing while still recovering from the appendectomy. I could have sworn that the cut had ruptured, and it definitely goes down as one of the most painful experiences of my life.

I’ll be living in mortal terror of sneezing for the next few weeks.