A Most Unpleasant Way To Start The Day

I am a morning showerer. I have to start off each morning with a shower, or I just don’t feel like I’ve really woken up.

But on rare occasions, I shower at night, and when that happens, I’ll sometimes skip my morning shower so I can sleep in a little bit longer. However, if I don’t shower in the morning, my hair is out of control, so I’ll still go wash my hair in the bathtub (which takes much less time than a shower) to make it more manageable.

Last night, I showered after playing ultimate, which means that this morning, I slept in a little bit and then went to the guest bathroom to wash my hair. I was bending over the bathtub, with my head under the faucet and the water running,when it happened.

A snake came out of the drain, about six inches from my face.

After realizing that I wasn’t hallucinating (I had just woken up after all), I jumped up, shocked and speechless. Unfortunately, I had no snake-killing device in hand, and since I’m not Bear Grylls, I wasn’t about to grab it with my bare hands.

After a few seconds, the snake went back down the drain, and I haven’t seen him since.

We called a plumber, who basically said that it wasn’t all that uncommon, that there was nothing they could do, and that we should keep the drains closed and toilet lids down and eventually the snake would leave.

This seems like a less than ideal solution to the problem—anyone have any better ideas?

I guess the good thing is that I discovered the snake rather than Caroline—if that had happened, I’m pretty sure that we’d be moving.


Lori T 8/5/09, 1:56 PM  

That sounds absolutely terrible! Gross and scary. I hate thinking that it's still in your pipes. Ugh. Remind me never to visit your house.

Luke Dockery 8/5/09, 2:18 PM  


I know. I'd rather have it come out again (when I’m expecting it!) so I can kill it and not have to worry about it anymore.

In the meantime, I think I’m going to pour a lot of bleach down the drains. Apparently they dislike that.

Colby 8/5/09, 2:49 PM  

This sounds like a great excuse to carry a bowie knife around. Also, I might take all my, er... bowel movements at work for a while, if possible.

Luke Dockery 8/5/09, 3:23 PM  


I knew that the machete I brought back from Honduras would come in handy some day.

And on the second point, that’s really good advice.

Angela 8/5/09, 4:26 PM  

You just described a nightmare of mine!! Yikes!!!

Justin and Heather Bland 8/6/09, 11:52 AM  


holy crap, thats unbelievable.

I think I might have defecated all over myself if that happened.

How do you know when it leaves?

Luke Dockery 8/11/09, 10:29 AM  


It hadn’t been a nightmare of mine, but from now on I’m sure it will make a recurring appearance.

Luke Dockery 8/11/09, 10:30 AM  


Yeah, that’s the problem…I’m not sure I’ll ever know when (if?!?) it leaves.

I was thinking maybe in the winter time, when snakes do something similar to hibernation, but what if he just decides to hunker down in my pipes?

Robb 8/12/09, 12:35 AM  

I would be the last person to call you a Nancy Boy, but you need to take a look at what this 87-YEAR OLD GRANDMA did when a rattler took her by surprise.


Luke Dockery 8/12/09, 8:59 AM  


That’s nuts. Maybe if I had already been bitten I would’ve had the courage to fight back.

Anonymous 8/12/09, 1:43 PM  

Holy heavens man! Be glad it was in the bath and not while you were on the toilet ... there's always a bright side.

Luke Dockery 8/13/09, 7:27 PM  


Welcome to the blog and thanks for the comment.

You’re so right—as I was looking on the net to see if anyone else had had a similar problem, I came upon this article.


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