Christians and the Sanctity of Marriage

A Chick-fil-A in Huntsville, Alabama on August 1. Photo by Glenn Baeske/AP Photo

So a couple of weeks ago there was a pretty big political/cultural/religious firestorm concerning gay marriage and Chick-fil-A. Perhaps you heard something about it.

I didn’t write anything about it at the time because (a) I was traveling, (b) Everybody in the world seemed to be writing something about it, and (c) When it comes to emotionally-charged issues, I think it is sometimes less helpful to talk about them when we are so fired up. So I have waited until now to post a brief thought for reflection.

I have no problem with a company executive expressing his views on marriage. I happened to agree with his views, but even if I didn’t, I support his freedom to express what he believes—that’s one of the neat things about our country. And speaking of freedom, I also support the freedom of those who disagree with him to boycott his company, and the freedom of those who agree with him to Eat (even) Mor Chikin than usual to show their support.

But here is what I wonder: in a society plagued by divorce, where Christians don’t do that much better than non-Christians at staying married,¹ what is the most effective way for Christians to protect the sanctity of marriage? Is it by eating at Chick-fil-A (or getting in debates on the internet, or holding up picket signs), or by actively cultivating healthy, God-glorifying marriages with our spouses?

Of course, it doesn’t have to be an either/or decision—you can affirm the value of biblical marriage by working hard to make yours conform to those standards and at the same time, you can also use your political and economic voice to support it as well. Unfortunately, I think that the tendency is for a lot of people to follow the latter options (which, admittedly require less effort and less sacrifice) instead of the former rather than in addition to it.

By all means, let’s protect the sanctity of marriage—but let’s also admit that homosexuals aren’t the only ones who are bringing damage upon it.

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1This article talks about how the oft-quoted fact of Christians divorcing at the same rate as non-Christians is a myth. However, even this article puts the divorce rate among American Christians at about 42%, while that of non-religious Americans is about 50%. As Christians, are we really going to pat ourselves on the back about that level of difference?

Double Standards

Double Standards are, by definition, unfair, which I suppose is why most people don’t like them.

I, too, dislike double standards, though I’ll admit that sometimes, my ire towards injustice is slow to awaken when I belong to the party that is benefitting from it. For example, when I was at Harding, I was never too concerned about violating curfew, because I knew that since I was a guy, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. Had I been a girl, it would’ve been a different story; I would’ve been in trouble.

That was a double standard, but since I was a guy, it didn’t bother me too much.

Former NBA star Tim Hardaway’s statements this past week have made me think about a couple of double standards concerning homosexuality. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Hardaway’s comments, he said the following during a radio interview after being asked how he would deal with a gay teammate:

“First of all I wouldn’t want him on my team. Second of all, if he was on my team I would really distance myself from him because I don’t think that’s right and I don’t think he should be in the locker room when we’re in the locker room.”

When the interviewer was critical of Hardaway’s remarks, and referred to them as bigoted and homophobic, Hardaway responded:

“Well, you know, I hate gay people. I let it be known I don’t like gay people. I don’t like to be around gay people. I’m homophobic.”

The fallout following Hardaway’s words has been considerable: he was removed from All-Star Weekend activities, barred from future NBA appearances, and fired from his job as the Chief Basketball Operations Advisor of the CBA Indiana Alleycats. And he’s been publicly condemned by just about everyone.

First off, let me start of by saying that I don’t condone Hardaway’s words. While I can understand his concerns about undressing and showering around homosexuals in the locker room, he was way overboard in saying that he hates them. Even if his hatred stems from a belief that homosexuality is wrong, the Bible is pretty clear that we’re not supposed to hate anyone.

That being said, the degree of the outcry against Hardaway serves as evidence of the politically correct culture that we live in.

What I mean is this: if he had made basically the same statement, but about Christians instead of homosexuals, do you think he would face the same consequences? No way.

The truth is, there are some things in our society that are okay to publicly criticize without fear of serious repercussions, while other things like homosexuality (or Islam, or whatever is politically correct at the time) are completely taboo.

That’s a double standard, and I don’t like it.

The second double standard hits a little closer to home for me.

As a Christian, I absolutely believe that homosexuality is wrong, but the Tim Hardaway interview reminds me that sometimes we (Christians) tend to look at it from a skewed perspective.

From the way many Christians talk and act, you would think that homosexuality is some sort of unforgivable sin and that gay people are a group to whom we owe nothing. Some people who claim to follow Christ even seem to believe that His command to love our neighbors doesn’t apply to homosexuals, and live their lives in ways that could be summed up by Hardaway’s comments.

We’re understanding with people who lie, or are greedy, or even steal or commit adultery, but we treat gay people as if they are irreedemable, as if there is no hope for them.

That’s also a double standard, and I don’t like it either.

The truth is that all forms of sin—including homosexuality, but also including things like lying, gossiping and adultery—separate us from God, and make us deserving of death.

Thankfully, Christ was willing to experience death in our stead, and bridge the gulf that our sins had created between us and God. That death gives the hope of redemption to liars, gossips, thieves and adulterers. Homosexuals too.